Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XXIV
This edition of our glimpse into the interaction between Andrei/ey Arshavin and his fans through his official website contains what is easily one of my favorite questions to date. So let’s end the intro and get to the fun time.
2. From Ludastar72
Hello, Andrey!
Our family is from Murmansk – we are all your fans. We follow your
game and wish you good luck. My 8-year-old son is writing an essay about you in
English, the assignment was to write about a Famous Sports Person Answer for him please
the following question: do you have pets? What are their names? Yours, the Starchenkovs, Murmansk.
AA: At the present moment I don’t have any. When I was a kid, we had two kittens.
I cannot now remember their gender. And we also had a hamster. However, they all disappeared under unclear circumstances. When I was a teenager we had a Pekingese dog – Chuck. It still lives with my mother, rather old now. In family life, Julia and I still do without pets. Although Yana and
Artem sometimes ask us to think about it. But my children do not strongly
insist on it – bring it up once in a while and forget about it in a couple of minutes.
(Emphasis added by me.)
How do kittens and a hamster disappear under unclear circumstances? The logical answer would be that they died and little Andrei’s parents didn’t want to tell him, but in the world of Andrei Arshavin, the logical is irrelevant. These animals probably ran away to join a protest movement and make documentaries about the sex lives of postal workers.
4. From Queen
Andrey, do you drink tea with sugar or without?
AA: When I was a kid I drank tea with sugar or with condensed milk. After approximately 15 I started drinking tea without sugar. Now when you asked this question, it got me thinking how I could possibly drink such sweet tea.
To numb the pain of your pets mysteriously disappearing all the time?
5. From Queen
Hello, Andrey! How did you celebrate Halloween? Did Artem and
Yanochka go trick or treating and collect a lot of candy?And how do you feel about this holiday?
AA: My kids had a lot of fun this day. Yana had a pirate
costume. Artem was dressed as Harry Potter. You know, they gathered
a whole group, a really serious gang: Artem, Yana, some other kids. And they scoured the houses for candy. It was interesting to watch – the darkness and
the whole gang of children around wearing costumes of different fairy tale characters. A lot of
skulls and vampires. It was fun to watch the adventures of the little ones
The way Andrey tells it, he makes it sound like the children were storming inside houses and ransacking the neighborhood for candy while grown men cried for mercy and he laughed and laughed and laughed. And that’s probably what happened.
6. From khalimbekov
Andrey, I had a bet with my brother, he says if Russia wins the WC
he would do a double back somersault. Please win. I also
would not refuse to be a footballer or at least to have a good job of that kind.
AA: Let’s do it like this: if we don’t win the forthcoming championship, I’ll blame it all on you, I’d tell that we were sparing the health of one of our fans
Seriously, though. He’s going to blame it all on you, khalimbekov.
10. From galeev
Andrey, could you move to Moscow Dynamo this winter? Dynamo doesn’t have a
left midfielder.
AA: No, I’m not planning to move anywhere this winter.
Arsenal fans are unsure how they feel about this.
13. From galeev
Andrey, do you like a Coldplay song – Viva la vida, that was the anthem of Barca back in 2009?
AA: A great song.
OK then.
16. From Queen
Andrey, I’m curious what you think about human karma and
transmigration of souls (Regina)
AA: Sometimes I think about it. You see, it’s a complicated thing. It hasn’t been proven
neither physically nor physiologically. There are times in life when sometimes you
believe in it, sometimes not.
Where else have you ever seen questioning of a footballer go from “Do you like this one Coldplay song?” to “What’s your take on transmigration of souls?” Nowhere. Nowhere else on the planet does that happen.
17. From gasanov
Andrey, you are the best player of the Russian team, my dream is to play
together with you and score goals against Manchester, but they are only dreams.
AA: Buy a computer game
BURN! Andrei is saying your dreams aren’t going to come true, gasanov. And he’s doing it with an emoticon.
18. From ikkerh
I want to buy a complete collection of “Barney and Friends” for my kid, he loves watching it, but there is no such thing in Russia, maybe I’ll send you the money and you’ll buy it and send me the parcel? Of course if it is not difficult. If you want to help me write on i***@yandex.ru.
AA: Theoretically it is possible, of course. Practically, no. And although the post in England works great, but I have never used its services personally. Usually I ask my friends and people I know to send some letters, agreements and other documentation for me. I just do not know how to use the services of the local Pechkins
This is it. This question and answer totally encapsulates what makes this the greatest ongoing Q&A of all time. This prompts far too many questions to ever consider without your brain melting out of your ear, but first and foremost, who thinks to ask their favorite footballer to send them “Barney and Freinds” DVDs? Who has ever thought that was a reasonable way to acquire a collection of childrens’ show DVDs? Only an Andrei Arshavin fan.
And then Andrei’s answer is just absolutely perfect. You’re going to use “Theoretically it is possible, of course. Practically, no.” the next time you don’t want to do something. But the fact that he justifies his complete lack of desire to buy this person’s Barney DVDs by saying that he doesn’t know how the English postal service works — and refuses to entertain the idea that he could have the people who send his own letters for him send these DVDs as well — proves his excellence. Bow down.
Photo: AP